[at-l] Thursday Humor: Part 4

[shellydhale at earthlink.net (Shelly Hale)]

This one's for Felix....(only he thinks like this <g>)

The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at  the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed  and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, 
"Well,  Forrest,  it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell  you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been  administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but  you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven." 

Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't  too  hard; life was a big enough test as it was." St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three  questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?" 

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day  and  sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance  to think the questions over, tell me your answers." 
Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin  with the letter T, Shucks, that one's easy.   That'd be Today and Tomorrow.  The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not  what  I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify,  so I'll give you credit for that answer. 

How about the next one?" asks  St.  Peter. "How many seconds in a year?" "Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about  that a  nod I guess the only answer can be twelve." 
Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name  could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?" Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, 
February 2nd,  March 2nd. . ."  "Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with 
this,  and  I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind.....but I'll  have to give you credit for that one, too. 

Let's  go on with the third and  final question. Can you tell me God's first name"? "Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy." "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok,  I can  understand how you came up with your answers to my first two  questions,  but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first  name of God?" "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it  from the song. 


 "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS 
ME I,  AM HIS OWN. . . ." 


St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run." 

Shelly Hale