[at-l]OT Off Trail Trip Report

[gadog430 at charter.net (Gadog430)]

NPR is for liberals. <vbg>
Dawg
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: GoVolsKelly@aol.com 
  To: AT-L@backcountry.net 
  Sent: Wednesday, November 10, 2004 9:34 PM
  Subject: [at-l] Off Trail Trip Report


  On Sunday, The Boy and I were laying out by the pool,  listening to NPR.  He 
  was picking at his toes (I know, too much info) and I was trying to read my 
  ancient book that got wet the day before (all the pages were kinda transparent). 
   We were just layin' there, slowly getting skin cancer, wondering what our 
  next meal would be and what we were going to do after we got enough skin cancer. 
   We were watching Herman and Shirley (the Iguanas that adopted us) slowly 
  munch on my garden.  We watched the squirrels play on our screen of our badly 
  damaged screen (from various hurricanes) of our screened in pool. Did I say 
  "screen" enough?  No?  Screen screen screen screen screen. Okay, so we're watching 
  and waiting for the rascally bastards to fall through one of the holes in the 
  screen (I SAID IT AGAIN!) And the Boy's pickin' and I'm trying to read and 
  everyone's content in GoVols world. Then, all hell breaks loose!  The dog goes, 
  "Woof Woof Woof!"  Actually he kinda went "Yap Yap Yap" because he's a little 
  thing, but that's beside the point.  The Boy came out of his toe pickin' stupor 
  and said a profound thing.... "Someone's at the door."  Translated, that 
  means, "put down your book and go see who it is, I'm busy here."  So off I goes 
  (getting exciting, ain't it?) and it's GEORGE BUSH!  Come by to thank me for my 
  vote!  (Okay, ya'll can get off the floor and stop laughing now!)  Really it 
  was Lennie, who lives across the street, who actually DID vote for George Bush, 
  unless all them yard signs were for decoratin' porpoises.  

  "You want to go out on the boat" he asks us lowly democrats.  Toe picker, I 
  mean The Boy looks at me, I look at him, the dog yaps and one of the squirrels 
  FINALLY falls through a hole and in to the pool, and we weren't their to see 
  it, but I'm sure Herman and Shirley (who are also democrats) got a good giggle 
  out of it.  We agreed that the show was over in GoVols World (I was thinking 
  the squirrels weren't going to pull that same stunt twice, so why sit around in 
  GoVols world?)  So we packed up our stuff (sun screen) and walked ALL THE WAY 
  ACROSS THE STREET!  Whew, were we beat!  

  The end.

  JUST KIDDING!

  Anyway, we hopped on Lennie's boat, which has a head (boat speak for a place 
  to pee) which is nice because he had a cooler full of beer, and I wasn't 
  looking forward to hanging my arse off the side of the boat to pee six million 
  times.  Lennie's girlfriend of the week is Anita.  Now, I'm loud.  Southern and 
  loud.  Well, Anita is southern too.  And a lot louder.  We got on just fine from 
  the get go.  Lennie and Kenny (Lennie and Kenny!  Ain't that cute?) were 
  wishin' they'd brought ear plugs.  We headed out the canal and down to the 
  intracoastal, admired the million dollar homes and drank some beers.  We went by 
  Shooter's and watched the bikini contest, we waved at other boaters passing by, we 
  cruised by the old park I used to hang out BEFORE I had a yard to let my dog 
  run wild in, and we went by the port, looking at all the happy people on 
  various cruise ships ready to float here and yon and then we headed out to sea.  It 
  was a rough ride, waves 6-10 feet in the inlet, and got sprayed by sea water.

  Okay, I can't write anymore right now.  A friend of mine wants to play online 
  Canasta, and that's more fun.  Well, more fun than toe pickin' any day.  

  More later.

  Love,
  GoVols
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