[at-l] 7th Parapackers story

[lpatton at mailer.fsu.edu (Linda Patton)]

Ah, yes...the Fontana incident.  I was just a young Girl Scout
at the time...  >;->
	~~eArThworm
---------------------------------
* Subject: [at-l] The Fontana Incident
    * From: DSS <sevy@kezarlaw.com>
    * Date: Sat, 03 May 1997 21:46:38
    * Cc: atml@trailplace.com

(Take a deep breath..)

EARLY THAT MORNING:

	"You puny parapackers permeate your polypro !" thought poor 
Warren as he tiptoed between the 50 sleeping bags to the front of the 
shelter.

	Milo was already up and busy stirring the massive fondue pot in 
anticipation of the breakfast rush.  "Get up all you lazy parapackers!
It's Fondue Time ! "  Milo knew they had to get an early start if they 
were to make it to Fontana Village before the Coin- Op Laundramat closed.

	Milo had already started in - feverishly poking and prodding with 
his titanium telescoping fondue stick when the last of the parapackers 
made his way to the fondue circle.  "Mmmm, mmmm, this is excellent fondue 
Milo," exclaimed Warren.  The tiny parapackers had by now resorted to 
using their leki poles to capture the last of the big chunks of delicate 
white meat hiding somewhere in the midst of all that cheese.  

	The parapackers had but one set of clothes, just one patagonia 
union suit - you know the red ones with the seven little buttons down the 
front.  Yes, this is all the little porters had save for their little 
gore-tex ponchos. 

	Warren had convinced Milo that the polypro, the ponchos and the 
parapackers all needed washing and wash they would as they set forth down 
the road to Fontana. 

LATER THAT MORNING:

	Warren led the 50 little parapackers in single file -  all in 
their little red unionsuits down the road to the village.  Milo Garcia 
brought up the rear dressed in his formal wear, horned rimmed glasses 
and albino squirrel poncho (which all the parapackers knew fondly as 
"Rocky.")  Yes I'm afraid poor Milo looked like Elvis Costello in drag  
and sounded alot like Bryan Ferry as he sang "Fondue For Love" as the 
parapackers tapped along as if the asphalt was some symphonic surface.  
One could only imagine the parapackers thoughts flowing from Mickey 
Rourke offering Kim Basinger a piece of fondue to what fun they would 
have a short time at the Fontana Coin-Op as Milo sang, "I'll be waiting 
for you, in all the usual places, with my fondue pot....Fool for love...."

AT THE FONTANA COIN-OP:

	Round and Round went the tiny parapackers riding the speed queen 
spin cycle that was the Fontana Village Coin Op Laundramat.  All their 
little noses and hands pressed firmly up against the inside of the glass 
smiling from ear to ear.  Round and Round they went, 5 to a machine all 
10 in a row - all 50 that is except Little Enzo.

	Little Enzo the compulsive highlighter was busy by the windowsill 
kneeling on the yellow plastic bench.  First the yellow marker, then the 
blue one as he frantically went from Watchtower to Watchtower from Time 
to Newsweek. No one knew if it was the vapors given off by the markers or 
the sound they sometimes made that fueled Enzo's passion.

	Warren stood lookout as Milo kept pumping quarters into the 
machines as the parapackers went round and round and round.

LATER THAT AFTERNOON:

	Warren felt sick after Little Pedro told him he wouldn't be seeing 
any more albino squirrels for a while since Milo had cooked up the last one 
this morning.

EARLY THAT EVENING:

	Ethel Rosenthal, the 74 year old grandmother of 6 and the 
immediate past president of the Fontana Bridge and Gun Club had just left 
the monthly meeting at the cafeteria with a group of her friends when the 
first of the 49 tiny nude parapackers left the Coin Op.  It was not for 
some great noble statement that found all the parapackers (except Enzo) 
this way, but necessity.   A necessity fashioned by Milo forgetting to 
turn the dryer setting to low as they huddled in the corner waiting for 
their polypro and ponchos to dry and dry they did into 5 large nylon balls 
of melted red unionsuits.

	Warren had gone ahead to the Fontana Hilton to forewarn any of 
the occupants that 49 little 37 inch high nude men would be arriving 
shortly.  "Hi folks, my name is Warren Doyle and I am here now to tell you 
that 49 little nude men will be arriving shortly." announced Warren to the 
puzzled group of girl scouts and their cautious leaders.

	Little Pedro was the first to pass Ethel as he led the entourage 
of nude parapackers past her, some bouncing the large red patagonia poly 
balls.

	Meanwhile Milo was carrying little Enzo who was still gripping 
his bright yellow highlighter and staring straight ahead.

	Milo knew that Warren , yes Warren would have a solution to their 
latest predicament.

The Bamaman
(Yes, I know my posts are getting longer - it's scary.)
---------------------------------------------------------

Linda L. Patton, Reference Librarian, Strozier Library, Florida State Univ.
      Tallahassee, FL 32306-2047 (850)644-5019 lpatton@mailer.fsu.edu
          "A world without wilderness is a cage." -- David Brower