[at-l] DAY TWO...

[yugrekih at yahoo.com (Richard Mann)]

I woke in the middle of the night and went for a pee.  As I was peeing,
little red laser lights started dancing all over my MANHOOD.  I soon
realized that I was surrounded by a dozen or so ARMY RANGERS, all with
of their rifles trained on BIG DADDY.  SURELY, my companion, broke
through the RANGER RANKS (leaving treadmarks on a few), screaming and
yelping like a mad woman, waiving her arms and flopping her legs.  She
had my ROD and my STAFF, and was READY TO RUMBLE.  The RANGERS all
genuflected, then quickly melted away into the blackness of the night. 
In the morning, we wondered if it had all been a dream...

Before breakfast, SURELY and I took some time in the 4-HOLER WHEELCHAIR
ACCESSIBLE PRIVY.  The attendant, QUICKLY, gave us the 2-hour tour. 
The vaulted ceiling and marble surfaces reminded me of our PRIVY back
home.  This spectacular facility will be on the cover of the book...

After consulting the ATKINS HIKERS DIET cookbook, we broke out the
2-BURNER PROPANE STOVE and CAST IRON SKILLET, and fried us up a POUND
OF BACON and a DOZEN EGGS.  QUICKLY joined us for breakfast.  He ate
nine eggs and ten pieces of bacon.  We finished at eleven o'clock.  By
12:13 we were packed and ready to go.  We said our goodbyes to QUICKLY,
and quickly left...

We hiked the next three mountains (HAWK, SASSAFRAS and JUSTUS) in four
hours and five minutes.  We saw six DEER and seven TURKEYs.  We ate
nine SNICKERS each...

We reached GOOCH MOUNTAIN SHELTER (not to be confused with GOOCH GAP
SHELTER) as the sun was setting.  We had hoped to reach GOOCH GAP
SHELTER (not to be confused with GOOCH MOUNTAIN SHELTER), but SURELY
was not doing the miles that she had envisioned.  The trail is not
forgiving to someone in a WHEELCHAIR.  I'd have pushed SURELY some of
the way, but she is a PURIST, and won't entertain the thought...

There was another hiker at the shelter with us, named DEJA VU.  He had
TWO DOGS, was eating BEANS, and had strung up a ROPE...

We had BABY BACK RIBS (marinated in SONNYS REAL PIT BARBECUE SAUCE) and
BROCCOLI (drizzled with CHEDDAR CHEESE) for supper, plus a MARBLED RUM
CHEESECAKE (sweetened with SPLENDA) for dessert.  Afterward, DEJA VU,
SURELY and I had SMASHMELLOWS around the campfire.  We spoke OFF
TOPIC...

I later dreamt of little red laser lights...

FRED and SURELY


	
		
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