[at-l] Thoughts and Stuff (OT)

[GoVolsKelly at aol.com (GoVolsKelly@aol.com)]

Fifteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years to Learn 
By Dave Barry
(With highly provocative comments in parenthesis by Dave?s loyal compradre, 
KellyGoVols)

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the 
same night.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not 
achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 
"meetings."

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." (Hello?  Are 
you folks listening?)

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you 
to share yours with them. (Amen, brother! )

You should not confuse your career with your life. 

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I'm seeing 
Flashbacks of Big Tom on Survivor)

Never lick a steak knife.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. (God, but I love 
gossip!)

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason 
why we observe daylight-saving time. (Which is why I?ve decided that when the 
time changes next fall, I ain?t changin? with it.  Which means I?ll be going to 
work at 7:30 a.m. and coming home at 4:30.  So there)

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you 
think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her
at that moment.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big 
deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. (NO NO NO NO NO NO!)

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, 
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL 
believe that we are above average drivers. (NO.  I am an excellent driver.  
Everyone else sucks at it.  Especially in South Florida.)

A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. 
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

Your friends love you anyway.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the 
Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. 

One of the problems when everyone takes you seriously, is that you begin to 
forget to not take yourself seriously. (I don?t think anyone on this list will 
ever be guilty of taking me seriously.  So, seriously, I can?t think of my 
seriously at all.  Seriously.)

GoVols