[at-l] Who lives in Florida?

[GoVolsKelly at aol.com (GoVolsKelly@aol.com)]

All those things Wench says is true.  Although some are more prevalent in 
Southern Florida (the driving, etc.) Most are more applicable in central and 
northern Florida, and it's the same way in the South.  Although South Florida is 
about as south as you can get, it's decidedly more Yankee, Caribbean, and South 
American more so than "southern."  

And as far as number 2 goes in the "You know you're in Florida if.." 
category.  I have had the air on and the heat on in the same day about 10 times this 
month.  Ridiculous!  

Okay, I'm going to take that nap, now!

GoVols

In a message dated 1/23/2004 11:33:09 PM Eastern Standard Time, 
WenchAT03@comcast.net writes:


> If you do, you probably already know this stuff....
> 
> Just because tomorrow is the FL RUCK, some info for the rest of you to
> ponder while we RUCK it up.
> 
> *********
> >THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN FLORIDA
> >
> >
> >Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
> >
> >There are 5000 types of snakes, and 4998 live in Florida.
> >
> >There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Florida, plus a
> >couple
> >that nobody has seen before.
> >
> >Squirrels will eat anything.
> >
> >
> >Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
> >
> >Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are
> ripe.
> >
> >If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
> >
> >A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
> >
> >Onced and Twiced are words.
> >
> >It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
> >
> >Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
> >
> >People actually grow and eat okra.
> >
> >Fixinto is one word.
> >
> >There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There's "dinner" and then there's
> >"supper."
> >
> >Sweet tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when
> >you're two.
> >
> >Backards and forwards means, "I know everything about you."
> >
> >Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
> >
> >You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
> is.
> >
> >You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
> >
> >YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM FLORIDA IF:
> >1. You measure distance in minutes.
> >
> >2. You've ever had to switch from heat to air conditioning in the same
> day.
> >
> >3. You see a car running in a store parking lot with no one in it no
> matter
> >what time of the year.
> >
> >4. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixinto go to the store
> >
> >5. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
> vegetable,
> >grain, insect or animal.
> >
> >6. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
> >unlocked.
> >
> >7. You carry jumper cables in your car.. for your OWN car.
> >
> >8. You know what "cow tipping" is.
> >
> >9. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete and catsup.
> >
> >10. The local papers cover national and international news on one page
> and
> >six pages for local gossip and sports.
> >
> >11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
> >
> >12. You know all four seasons: almost summer, summer, still summer, and
> >Christmas.
> >
> >13. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "Goin'
> wal-martin"
> >or
> >"Off to ' Wally World'."
> >
> >15. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke,
> >regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinna coke you want?"
> >
> >16. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
> >
> >18. You understand these and forward them to your friends from Florida
> (and
> >those who just wish they were).
> *****WENCH COMMENT:  Wonder where 17 went?  Oh that's right!  We can't count
> in Florida!!!
> 
> *****And, more specific to my area:
> 
> 1. Another name for Fort Myers is "you Can't Get there From Here Unless You
> Go Up and Turn Around"
> 
> 
> 2.  If your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a
> new one.  If you live in Estero your map is already a day old and obsolete.
> 
> 3.  Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.  Fort Myers has its own
> version of traffic rules.  "Hold on and Pray".
> 
> 4.  There is no such thing as a dangerous high speed chase in Fort Myers.
> We all drive like that.
> 
> 5.  All directions start with  Rt 41 and I-75, which has no beginning and no
> end.
> 
> 6.  The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00.  The evening rush hour is
> from 3:00 to 7:00.  Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday.
> 
> 7.  If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended and/or
> cussed out.   When you are the first one in the starting line, count to five
> when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the
> drivers that are running the red light in cross traffic.
> 
> 
> 8 Construction is a way of life with a permanent form of entertainment.  We
> are having so much fun as they widen roads that were finished just a couple
> years ago.  And of course they are making new roads by the minute.  And
> don't forget all the new developments with gravel trucks going in and out
> the entrances.  They don't have any brakes so watch out.
> 
> 9. All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase "we are in Florida",
> or "it's season'.
> 
> 10.  If someone actually turned on their turn signal it would be because of
> a factory defect.  That includes the police cars too.
> 
> 11.  Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators.
> 
> 12.  All old men and women with blue hair and driving anything that costs
> over $50,000.00 have the right of way.  Period...
> 
> 13.  Notice that all streets off main roads mysteriously change names as you
> cross the intersections.  Some even change complete names over night.
> 
> 14.  To travel 3 miles could take up to 3 hours.  Much longer if you travel
> the interstate.
> 
> 15.  The speed limit on all roads is at least 30 miles over the posted speed
> limit, and you are "running" with the traffic.
> 
> 16.  I-75 and Rt. 41 are our daily version of NASCAR.  Some people call them
> "Daytona wannabees".
> 
> 17.  Ever notice why fire trucks and ambulances are sitting in strategic
> places.  They don't want to have to travel far in case of an emergency and
> be victims themselves.
> 
> 18.  If it is summer everyone watches the weather report to see if a
> hurricane is brewing in the Atlantic.  If it is winter everyone nibbles on
> their hurricane supplies on the way to work.
> 
> 19.  If it is 90 degrees everyone is at the beach.  If it is 75 degrees
> everyone is shopping. If it is raining everyone is eating out.
> 
> 20.  If it has rained 3 inches in the past hour, everyone is flooded.
> 
> 
> There is no place like living in paradise year around.  We live for the
> quiet of the summer months when the snow birds have gone home and the full
> timer's have gone north to clog the roads up there.  We have three months to
> ourselves, but the time keeps getting shorter.
>