[at-l] "Leaving" and *Leaving*

[sloetoe@xxxxxxxxx (Sloetoe)]

From: Toritalk8@aol.com

OK, I've got a question that I don't think I have ever seen
addressed on here and really not sure how to ask it. OK, Here
goes.
I have a friend who is leaving in a week to start his hike.
<snip>
My question is:
Why do I feel like I have lost him? He is such a genuine, kind,
caring person. But he is not there anymore. He is so distracted
and so seemingly unconcerned about some things. Well, like the
time away. I already feel like he is so far away. <snip> But I
feel really detached and really alone this past couple of weeks.
Help me sort this out, Maybe, like I said, I am just jealous.

### Sloetoe respondsesesesth:
1) You're not imagining anything.
2) He *is* detached. Gone. Later. History.
3) You *may* have "lost" him, or not. That's entirely dependent
on him and his trip, and *not* dependent on you in any way. (So
don't kill yourself about that.) Whether his trip changes him in
regard to the things which the two of you valued and shared is
the key as to whether you remain friends. Some people finish the
trail "different" from when they started (and remain so!) --
their trip was wrought with wild personal growth[!] and change.
Some finish completely unchanged -- the trip was a fascinating
interlude.
4) There's almost nothing you can do to affect how the trip will
affect *him*, except to empathize and attempt to facilitate.

Hope that helps.
Sloetoe

=====
Spatior! Nitor! Nitor! Tempero!
   Pro Pondera Et Meliora.

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