[at-l] OT Humor : FW: Inspectors in Iraq

[nealb@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (William Neal)]

Okay I am about to get in trouble with the guys now...

William, The "I'll have to watch my back on the AT from now on" Turtle

>Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived
>in Iraq? They're all men!
>
>How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find
>Saddam's stash? We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to
>finding things. For crying out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes
>hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard
>and splatters on the floor.... and these are the people we have sent into
>Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction?
>
>I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in.
>
>Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of
>dope. Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic
>beneath the rafters. They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor
>away. They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and
>notice when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A
>mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the
>front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining
>laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if
>a mother wants an answer to question, she can read an offender's eyes
>quicker than a homicide detective.
>
>So ... considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection team,
>why are we sending a bunch of men who will rely on electronic equipment to
>scout out hidden threats?
>
>My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam
>by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any
>weapons of mass destruction?" And if he tried to lie to her, she'd march
>him down the street to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a
>nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap!
>Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his bottom with
>that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of Baghdad.
>He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every
>lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole darn summer.
>
>Inspectors! You want the job done? Call a mother.