[at-l] Quitting was Dr. Zimmermand

[bullard@xxxxxxxxxxxx (Jim Bullard)]

>thru-thinker wrote:
>Great post, Datto - but I would add one philosophical bit of
>ambivalence, which I have struggled with for over 20 years now:  if you
>are taught to never quit, and get started down a path that you later
>learn is not true to your heart or your self, is it the better part of
>valor to QUIT that path and try to return or begin walking on a
>different path that you at that point believe is truer to who you are,
>or is it important to keep getting up and never quitting in a career,
>marriage, religion, mission, etc. that you are no longer satisfied with
>on some level?  I hope this makes some sense - I guess one way I would
>put it is that in order for Fritz Kreisler to finally come back to his
>truest self-expression, he also had to QUIT a bunch of interim careers
>too!  I presently am struggling with just that issue in terms of my
>career - I've always been a victim of my success, and my training to
>never QUIT - it took almost a nervous breakdown from stress and burnout
>for me to finally "quit" my high-powered law firm job, but a tiny part
>of me says "you were a quitter to do that."  And, in a marriage or
>career, there are always challenges and potential moments of self-doubt
>. . . so the REAL key to life is two-fold:  Number one, as Datto's post
>illustrates, you have to have real perserverance and staying power; and
>- number two- you have to find a way to not let a one-track mindedness
>on never quitting blind you or prevent you from occasionally QUITTING in
>order to come closer to finding your true self/passions . . . hope that
>makes some sense!

I can identify with Thru-Thinker on this.  I set out on one career path and
due to circumstances beyond my control ended up in another in which I have
been "successful", not because I enjoyed it but because a personal sense of
honor required me to do my best even if it wasn't my chosen path.  Along
the way I have encountered numerous *crises* where it would have been
easier to 'quit' my job or my marriage and at a couple of points I vaguely
considered quitting life.  I didn't quit on any of them, in part because
around age 12 I had a teacher who 'accused' me of being a quitter and I
guess I wanted to prove that person wrong.  In the end all the crises
turned out well in no small part (I believe) because I did not quit.

The question is "why are you quitting?".  Is it to avoid discomfort or
because you have realized you are truly headed in the wrong direction?  Six
years ago I quit running.  I had been running 3-5 miles/day, 25 mile weeks
for over 7 years.  I never felt better in my life than when I was
running.  I quit because, unfortunately it destroying my knees.  Although I
sorely miss running, or rather the awesome feeling I got from running, it
was the right reason to quit and I have no regrets.  I can still walk.  Had
I continued I might not.

Running taught me to really listen to my body, to distinguish between my
muscles complaining about being asked to do more than they were accustomed
to and genuine pain, which is an indication that you are injuring
yourself.  It took me a while to learn the difference.  Listening to your
soul for those distinctions is even harder to do and I suspect very few
manage it.

I have struggled with my desire to thru-hike for several years.  The
question 'to hike or not to hike' is coming to a head as the possibility of
retirement gets closer and the 'right' answer is very difficult to see.  At
58 my body is no longer capable of as much as it used to be but the longer
I wait the harder it will be.  I have other goals but they don't entail the
same physical demands and thus could wait.  My wife has read a couple of my
AT books and understands the attraction but can't join me both because she
can't retire yet and because she isn't physically capable of it. I hesitate
to leave her with full responsibility for everything at home for 6
months.  My most recent plan is to do four 5-6 week sections (May/June and
Sept/Oct?) and finish in 2 years but in my heart I know that won't be the
same as a continuous hike.  Then there is the basic uncertainty of setting
out on such an undertaking.  I've done 20 mile days and I've backpacked
before accumulating an approximate total of 1400 miles but it was always
within a few hours of home and only day hikes or for a few days at a
time.  Can I really handle a long distance hike?  Even when you are doing
what you *want* to do, there are no easy answers.  Of course it is tougher
to quit when you are 7 states from home and your car is *not* waiting at
the trailhead.  :)

Saunterer  (still shadow boxing his doubts)