[at-l] Dr. Zimmermand

[spiriteagle99@xxxxxxxxxxx (Jim and/or Ginny Owen)]

thru-thinker -

Really good post - there is a lot of ambivalence about quitting, for those
of us who think and feel and wonder.  Perseverence is good, but sometimes it
can kill you.

Jim stayed in a bad marriage for many many years because he believed that it
was something you should never give up on.  Finally, he realized there was
no way that things could get any better.  At best there would be an
exhausted peace, at worst mutual destruction.  He decided that 'quitting'
was the best solution after all.

As for me, when I was young I had my life mapped out, college then Peace
Corps then international aid career.  Then when I was in the Peace Corps it
all fell apart.  I couldn't stick it, and trying wasn't enough.  For a lot
of reasons, I was going completely crazy, and I really didn't like the
direction I was heading.  So I quit and came home.  And then couldn't handle
the fact that I had quit something that was that important to me and to my
future.  It took years to get out of the depression that caused.  I knew
that, given the circumstances, I really had to leave, but it also killed me
to give up.  And I just couldn't stand it.

When I hiked the AT, I really didn't know whether or not I could do the
whole thing.  I had little experience, didn't know anyone who had done it,
and wasn't too sure about my physical and mental fortitude.  But I decided
to just keep going, one section at a time and see what happened.  I told few
people, so I wouldn't be embarrassed if I gave up.  As I've said before, it
wasn't until I crossed the Kennebec that I really started to believe that I
would and could hike the whole trail.  It set me free.  When I read "Then
the Hail Came" I understood his drive to finish.  I too needed to prove that
I was more than the failure I seemed to be.  I'm still not much of a success
careerwise, but I can hike -- and that's something, at least to me.

And the interesting thing is that the more we hike, the less important it
becomes to do what we set out to do.  I am happiest in the mountains, so
hiking long distance is my way of doing that.  But when we are out for short
periods, we don't force ourselves into attaining goals that don't make sense
once we are out there.  If the weather turns really nasty, we can go on or
go home, depending on how much we want to be out, but we don't keep going
just because we made a plan to do so.  If the circumstances change, then the
plan can change.  When we hiked the CDT that was one of the agreements that
Jim and I made before we went -- if the hike turned into a forced march,
where the push for miles was getting in the way of enjoying the mountains,
then it was time to change the plan. Reaching Mexico was important, but not
at the cost of forgetting why we were there. There were days that we were
forced to do some really hard hiking, but the prime objective remained
paramount - enjoying being on the trail was more important than finishing
the trail.
Ginny

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thru-thinker wrote:
Great post, Datto - but I would add one philosophical bit of
ambivalence, which I have struggled with for over 20 years now:  if you
are taught to never quit, and get started down a path that you later
learn is not true to your heart or your self, is it the better part of
valor to QUIT that path and try to return or begin walking on a
different path that you at that point believe is truer to who you are,
or is it important to keep getting up and never quitting in a career,
marriage, religion, mission, etc. that you are no longer satisfied with
on some level?  I hope this makes some sense - I guess one way I would
put it is that in order for Fritz Kreisler to finally come back to his
truest self-expression, he also had to QUIT a bunch of interim careers
too!  I presently am struggling with just that issue in terms of my
career - I've always been a victim of my success, and my training to
never QUIT - it took almost a nervous breakdown from stress and burnout
for me to finally "quit" my high-powered law firm job, but a tiny part
of me says "you were a quitter to do that."  And, in a marriage or
career, there are always challenges and potential moments of self-doubt
. . . so the REAL key to life is two-fold:  Number one, as Datto's post
illustrates, you have to have real perserverance and staying power; and
- number two- you have to find a way to not let a one-track mindedness
on never quitting blind you or prevent you from occasionally QUITTING in
order to come closer to finding your true self/passions . . . hope that
makes some sense!






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