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[at-l] A Correction

thanks for a great post . . . made me laugh and feel like I know them,
and you, without havin met any of the above! :)


p.s.  you might add to your mightly list something about not taking your
date to see "The Deerhunter" - I actually was dumb enough to do that,
and lived to tell the tale [she walked out a quaterway into it, and I
was smart enough to leave with her! :)]

Jack Tarlin wrote:

>    I've had a lotta fun the last few days reading folks' thoughts on the
> Gathering in West Virginia; felt the need to make one small correction in
> somebody's post.
>    In speaking about Twilight's announcement of the impending arrival of
> the most prominent member of the Thru-hiking Class of 2022, somebody
> referred to her as Kampfire's "wife."  In case some of you people thought
> they'd missed out on the nuptials, just wanted to point out that at
> present,
> these wonderful people are not yet constrained by the bonds of actual
> matrimony.   In pointing this out, by the way, this is NOT moralizing on my
> part; far from it.   Nobody is happier about their anouncement than I am,
> as I was the guy who introduced these folks to each other several years
> back
> at Tabard House in Hanover of all places.  I merely make the correction in
> the interest of accuracy.
>    Needless to say, all of us who know these guys are pretty thrilled at
> this news, and nobody more than me.  Am looking forward to perhaps
> restraining some of the excesses of my lifestyle so I stick around long
> enough to see what kinda hiker this child turns out to be; am looking
> forward very much to becoming the favorite uncle, assuming of course that
> the doting mother lets me within 200 miles of the kid.   Am looking forward
> very much to performing such vital and varied duties as instructing the
> youngster in the intricacies of draw poker; the importance of selecting the
> correct single malt scotch; the neccessity of despising the New York
> Yankees; where to find the best Orbison and Springsteen bootlegs; why one
> should never take advice on water sources from Southbounders; where one
> should drink if forced to spend the night in Gatlinburg; how to cook
> lasagna
> for 65 people too potted to appreciate your efforts; how to make Miss Janet
> laugh so hard she wets her pants; why it's so important to stay at Kincora;
> how to do 1400 miles on a broken leg; how to get your 7 bucks worth at a
> Chinese buffet; how to score your thru-hike a corporate sponsorship from
> the
> R.J. Reynolds people; why John McCain is the only man in America worth
> electing to higher office; why it's important to always lock your tent at
> Trail Days; why you should never let someone take your photograph if you're
> anywhere near an inflatable animal; why you should avoid certain places in
> Erwin (hah!); how to make 7 ounces of Jim Beam last 180 trail miles
> (this is
> a tough one); how to render yourself utterly irresistable to attractive
> people half your age; how to win at Jeopardy, even when the category is
> "Show Tunes!"; why Bill Bryson is a candy-ass; how to fracture the wrist of
> an unwanted suitor without getting outta your chair; how to tell filthy
> jokes in Latin so as not to dis-please your mother; how to hit a hanging
> curveball off a left-handed short reliever; why Sam Peckinpah was the
> greatest director of all time; how the South coulda won at Gettysburg; why
> England can never be forgiven for what it did in Ireland; how to finish the
> Times crossword in ten minutes without cheating; why Ernest Shackleton
> should be your childhood hero; why it's OK to still have a crush on Uma
> Thurmman even tho she's married; why you shouldn't take a first date to
> "Braveheart"; how to get your bartender to over-pour each and every
> time.....well, you get the picture.  SOMEBODY has to pass on this essential
> knowledge to the next generation, and I'm not sure if Kampfire is up to the
> task.  Time to call in expert outside assistance.  I can't wait.
> As for giving advice on how to walk from Georgia to Maine, or how to be the
> best damned Trail angel that ever lived----well, THESE matters I'll
> leave to
> the parents, who are eminently qualified to speak on these matters.
>    In any case, I'm sure I speak for everyone here in wishing these guys
> nothing but good wishes, and we'll find 'em a quiet campsite in Damascus
> next May.  Failing that, we'll see 'em in Hanover in a year.   By then, the
> kid should be ready to hike.
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