[at-l] Government and nature, some fun.

[KellyGoVols@aol.com (KellyGoVols@aol.com)]

--
[ Picked text/plain from multipart/alternative ]
I recieved this post from the ft-l list and thought is so funny I'd pass it
along to y'all.

In a message dated 9/13/02 3:50:40 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
rschuler@mpinet.net writes:


> I think DER is a necessary evil so don't get the impression that I loath all
> refulation, but being good Americans it is fun to take a jab at the
> regulators to keep things in prospective.  I hope you enjoy the letter.
>
> >From the Internet - and you know that everything from the Internet is
> >checked and double checked!  Here it is:
> >
> >This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
> >Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. And his
> >response.
> >
> >Mr. Ryan DeVries
> >2088 Dagget Pierson, MI 49339
> >
> >SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
> >
> >Dear Mr. DeVries:
> >
> >It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
> >that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced
> >parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner
> >and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
> >
> >Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet
> >stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of
> >this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no
> >permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that
> >this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of
> >the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the
> >Public Acts> of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
> >Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
> >
> >The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
> >failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
> >downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently
> >hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you
> >to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the
> >stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming
> >the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be
> >completed no later than January 31 2002.
> >
> >Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so
> >that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
> >
> >Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity
> >on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated
> >enforcement action.
> >
> >We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
> >Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
> >
> >Sincerely, David L. Price District Representative Land and Water
> >Management Division
> >
> >************************************************* This is the actual
> >response sent back -------------
> >
> >Dear Mr. Price, Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
> >Montcalm County
> >
> >Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond
> >to.
> >
> >First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or
> >Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am the legal owner and a
> >couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
> >constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet
> >stream of my Spring Pond.
> >
> >While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I
> >think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
> >natures building materials "debris."
> >
> >I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their
> >dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely
> >state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
> >resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
> >determination and/or their dam work ethic.
> >
> >As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
> >first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam
> >activity.
> >
> >My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate
> >against my Spring Pond Beavers or
> >(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said
> >dam request?
> >
> >If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through
> >the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those
> >other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we
> >will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes
> >and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act,
> >Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to
> >324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
> >
> >I have several concerns. My first concern is - aren't the beavers
> >entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
> >financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation- so
> >the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's
> >dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent
> >rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence,
> >which the Department is required to protect.
> >
> >In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather
> >than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream
> >"restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers - but
> >if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any
> >attention to your dam letter they being unable to read English.
> >
> >In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build
> >their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green
> >and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live
> >and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and
> >Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the
> >natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams.).
> >
> >So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
> >referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until
> >1/31/2002? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and
> >there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them
> >then.
> >
> >In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
> >environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears!
> >Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you
> >should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.
> >If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The
> >bears are not careful where they dump!)
> >
> >Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to
> >contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to
> >your dam office.
> >
> >
> >Sincerely, Stephen L.Tvedte
>