[at-l] I bagged a moose fly

[kahley@ptd.net (kahley)]

Long time listers will remember my talking about those
horrific humongous purple versions of horse flies we call T-Rex
and scoffed at their existence...and at my description of their
four inch wingspan and their bite that turned our normally ferocious
Thor into a yelping quivering canine locomotive which crashed
thru the screen door to get into the house and away from T-Rex.
Well I haven't seen one of those in a couple years but I did happen
to spot the lesser version...Moose fly.

Flat black, it lacks the iridescent purple of the zenith of the
biting flies, it was warming on the window of our van  yesterday AM.
I turned to Hub and whispered..moose fly and saw that look of
bloodlust (probably matching my own) that only these *%#*@#
blood suckers can evoke.  We cast eyes around...looking for a weapon.
Finding none, and knowing if I moved away I would never get this close
again, I s l oo o wly reached down and pulled of my shoe.  Still out
of range, I knew I had to get one step closer if I had a chance at a kill.

I looked at the HUGE eyes, knowing that they were compound and
that I was currently pictured by a hundred lenses I took that step.
I could feel Hub's thoughts burning into my brain.  "ONE SHOT...
DON'T BLOW IT!!!!!!.  I am to the right of it, but right handed.  Do
I dare another step.  Should I raise my arm slowly or with as much
speed as I can muster?

I raised the shoe up and across my bod, ever so slowly as I slowly shifted
my weight to my left foot and blam!!!!!!  I GOT IT.  I found myself jumping
like a kid who just scored a TD and when I looked at HUB, his arms were
raised and fists clenched and he was chanting  YES YES YES!!!

We measured this bad boy....2 and 9/16 in wingspan 1 and 1/8 in
body length.    If I had a scanner, I could prove it to ya'll.  And Moose Flies
  are only half the size of T-Rex.  T-Rex is out there...usually near
water.  So if you hear a drone that sounds like a distant chainsaw,
but it seems to be getting rapidly closer, use your hands to cover
the back of your neck and RUN!!!!!

BTW...I routinely catch and release wasps and hornets that find their way
into our home. Ditto centipedes and spiders.  I hold no ire against any
bug 'cept those that want to feed on me.  But deerflies, horse flies and
there bigger cousins are fair game.....