[at-l] modern times......

[sloetoe@yahoo.com (Sloetoe)]

### Shamelessly forwarded, but this cracked me up.

I was having an out of body experience one day so I grounded
myself and got centered with the help of my spirit guides and
almost astral traveled anyway, but the phone rang. I sensed the
negative vibrations so I threw the I-Ching and checked my
numerology chart and nearly had a primal, but my energy was too
blocked, so I did some bioenergetics and self parenting, took
some flower essence and ate an organic oat bran ginseng muffin,
but my inner child wasn't feeling nurtured yet so I had a Rice
Dream Frozen Pie too, but that made me hyper so I did the
relaxation response while listening to my subliminal tapes, but
I was feeling depersonalized so I did some polarity work, foot
reflexology and past life regression, then rebirthed myself and
called Moon Beam, the bodyworker, to make an appointment for a
Shiatsu, Reike, Rolfing, Feldenkreis, Swedish, Japanese deep
tissue massage, but she flaked out and never returned my call,
so I decided to energize my crystals and do some positive
imagery because all my visualization techniques and affirmations
made my space feel invaded, so to get empowered, I got a psychic
reading from Mother HeartLove around the issue of my
assertiveness so I could feel my radiance and have some energy
for my psycho-calisthenics and inversion swing before my
harmonic brain-wave synergy session, which made me more focused
for my actualization seminar, holistic healing class and
dreamworkshop, so I'd be more clear for my Gestalt behavioral
cognitive transpersonal Rechian Jungian Freudian Ericksonian
session at the hot springs but my aura was weak for my trance-
channeling group so I fasted until noon to recharge my chakras
and I sensed my intuition was high and my cycle was focused, so
I turned on my ion generator to open up for my neural-linguistic
programming session, but I needed to have my pyramid recharged
before my guided synchronicity meditation, so I got some
cranio-sacral therapy, which aligned me for the fire walk, which
was between my tarot card reading and my sensory depivation tank
appointment, but after all that I felt what I truly needed was a
meaningful relationship to mirror myself so I went to my
personal shaman, and then to my guru, but they were no help, so
instead I went to the Intensive Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic
Expo Symposium Workshop to find someone who really knew what was
going on, but that didn't work either, so I locked myself in a
calcium coated Orgone Box and meditated until 9PM. None of it 
really worked for me, so I rolled me a big fat doobie, got baked
and drank a six pack of Bud -- and dude . . . did I feel right
with the world!--

=====
Spatior! Nitor! Nitor! Tempero!
   Pro Pondera Et Meliora.

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