[at-l] Thoughts of Slackpacking: WAS: Helping a newbie update: Warren's School Report 1

[orangebug74@yahoo.com (Orange Bug)]

Two more paragraphs for my parsing, out of sequence, but I think it
will make sense.

<skipping again>

--- Shane Steinkamp <shane@theplacewithnoname.com> wrote:
> Feel free to pick that apart and tell me I'm projecting...
> 
> > Git chure noze out of their buzniss, bud.
> 
> Sane advice.  No can do.  He asked me to help him.  We've
> had this kind of relationship for years.  He trains me, I
> train him.  When he's training me, he owns me.  When I train
> him, I own him.  We cuss, discuss, argue, and wrassle on the
> floor.  Eventually it works out.  Of course, I'm training
> him this time, so in the end, it only matters that HE wins,
> not me...


It's me down here again.

You are being arguementative - with yourself. You want him to
experience the trail without filters of his life and marriage, yet you
are providing your opinions and your own filters (known as projection).
Tough doo-doo, as that is almost impossible to avoid when engaged in
teaching/counseling/advising. That is part of the human experience and
probably impossible to avoid.

In my real world line of work, we call that counter-transference or
roughly the feelings a therapist has about the patient and the
patient's situation. Most initially think this is a bad thing, as if
seeing Dr. Spock (Star Treck, not the kiddy expert) would be a good
thing. The danger is in failing to recognize your own filters and
biases, and the impossibility of catching all of those filters and
biases. Teachers and trainers have similar experience of figuring out
how to teach, and not just how to lecture. 

Your job is not to own him, but to help him own himself.

I find when advising someone, it helps to offer a little observation
and a lot of cluelessness. "Oh, Warren let you and your wife figure out
how slackpacking could let the two of you share this major experience
together. That sounds cool, but I'm missing something. Now just how
does that work when weather is bad, or in the Smokies, or if you/she
are delayed, or if someone gets bored? Why doesn't everyone do that?"
and so on....

Of course, it helps to be clueless. Just let your jaw go a little
slack, and you can begin to get the hang of it. If it is really tough,
let your eyebrows grow together. The unibrow look really helps in
consultations.

Bill...


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