[at-l] Trail humor from the past

[icw39@ncfreedom.net (Clark Wright)]

thanks for a good laugh; the joke about chips, however, sent real chills
down my spine - THAT idea is all to doable, and you know what happens
when a bureaucrat gets ahold of a DOABLE way to further invade personal
privacy!!!  Trail Libertarians, this is your call to arms!! Tell Al and
Tipper Gore, and all the right-wingers, too - that you oppose the
new-fangled AT-chip!!  :)

thru-thinker

Mike Aken wrote:
> 
> Subject: [at-l] Wingfoot Names First Avery Monitors
>      From: sevy@conknet.com
>      Date: Thu, 09 Mar 2000 23:05:32 -0500
> 
> Hot Spring, NC
> 
>         Dan "Wingfoot" Bruce  d/b/a "The Appalachian Trail" announced today that
> the 50 little parapackers had been overwelmingly selected to be the first
> Avery Trail Monitors.
> 
>         Joined at the noontime press conference was an ever stalwart and churly
> Milo Garcia together with the parapackers all dressed in their little
> knicker outfits and beaming from ear to ear.  Each parapacker was pushing a
> mini-sized measuring wheel as they weaved back and forth and around
> Wingfoot and Milo as the audience cheered. "I'm a Monitor-o-love!" shouted
> Little Hector as he waved to the  crowd.
> 
>         "Ssssshhh! you funny little parapacker" said Milo as Wingfoot approached
> the podium escorted by The Avery Guard (Copyright 2000, Dan W. Bruce) all
> sporting their matching Bolle sunglasses.
> 
>         "Greetings  friends, fellow hikers, and uh...uh is that a AT-L'r...oh,
> sorry...fellow hikers and frequent visitors of Trailplace.com, I welcome
> you!" " I am also announcing that I will no longer be known as Wingfoot but
> will now be simply known by the AT symbol !"  And with that the hiker
> formerly known as Wingfoot quickly left the podium followed closely by the
> cloak wearing Avery Guard.
> 
>         All the while the parapackers were oblivious to the announcement and kept
> circling the stage pushing their measuring wheels, smiling and waving at
> the crowd.
> 
>         Milo Garcia again stepped forward and as the lights dimmed said, "Please
> enjoy with me this multimedia presentaion."  Well all the parapackers knew
> what Milo's multimedia presentaions were and abruptly dropped their wheels
> and sat down in the front row with their liitle heads tilted upwards.
> Little Hector and Enzo scurried back to the filmstrip projector and 8 track
> player and began the show.
> 
>         After rushing through the 5 minute copyright segment, the narration began:
>  " Coming soon, 'The Trail-My Way or No Way starring Dan Wingfoot Bruce'
> an IMAX spectacular.  Cur-chunk goes the 8 track tape as it changes tracks
> and little Enzo spins the filmstrip knob trying to keep up.  "This is Myron
> Avery and this is an Avery Monitor as the picture of Little Juan and his
> wheel is superimposed on the classic pose of Myron Avery.  "Note the
> diminutive parapacker" adds the narrator.  click, click turns the
> filmstrip.  "And here see how easily the parapackers can conceal themselves
> behind trees and especially blue-blazed trees."  The picture shows maybe
> 25-30 little parapackers sticking their heads out from behind trees ,
> smiling and waving.
> 
>         Suddenly the music on the 8 track player picks up as the Theme from Shaft
> begins to fill the room.  Enzo clicks the filmstrip knob faster and faster.
>  We see the hiker formerly known as Wingfoot jumping up from the big
> trailplace sofa and running out the door.  "Here we see the response team
> in action as the Avery Monitors have spotted a registered trail user
> avoiding Albert Mountain." adds the narrator.
> 
>         Again the scene shows Wingfoot  this time at the Springer Mountain
> check-in center attaching the champion chip to a somewhat pudgy hikers
> boot.  "These chips will activate sensors at secret points along the
> Appalachian Trail and be closely monitored by the staff at Avery Center."
> 
>           The lights come back up and Milo returns to the podium as the
> parapackers resume weaving and pushing their wheels throughout the crowd of
> onlookers.  "Thank you Little Juan, Little Enzo, Little Hector and the rest
> of you Litle Parapackers!"  boomed Milo as he lightt his big Cuban cigar.
> "Are there any questions?  Yes - the redheaded hiker over there."
>         "Is it true Mr. Garcia that you invented the McDonald's shake and that it
> is actually your chilled fondue recipe?"  "I have no comment escept to say
> that shakes have many uses." replied a stunned Milo.
> 
> The Bamaman AT '81
> 
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> http://www.engel.org/ihwm  (Courtesy of my friend Glenn Engel)
> 
> email  --- mike_aken@hotmail.com
> 
> I hike alone sometimes.Its during these            Mike Aken
> solo hikes that the number of  arrogant             N7OUJ
> and ignorant people I have  to deal
> with is reduced to one.
>                          Jack Hampson
> 
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