[at-l] A newbie's thoughts on wilderness (Warning: long)

[chance317@yahoo.com (Denise)]

The threads about wilderness and the philosophy of hiking have
been wonderful ~ a joy to read and reflect on, and have brought
me out of lurker mode to share some of my own reflections.   No
answers here, just some thoughts.  The winter has taught me much
this year and relates in part, for me, to these threads.

I've been training for a "hike" of sorts -- the Avon 3-Day ---
and because of a very full work/school schedule, my only time to
train has been in the pre-dawn winter months, sometimes going
out as early as 3:30 ... yes ... *a.m.* ... ewwww!  I live in a
typical, ordinary, citified neighborhood, man's impact visible
at every turn ... and yet ... what I have found has surprised
me.  Rather than a chore, something I've *had* to do, these
runs/walks have become my salvation.  Being outside, moving
forward mile after mile in the winter, surrounded by darkness
and the hush of a sleeping civilization, with the moon and
stars, the cold, wind and snow in my face, I feel the trappings
of mankind recede until I am at a place within myself that up to
now I could only reach in a vastly more remote setting.  And
rather than steel myself *against* the elements; rather than
view them as adversaries, I've learned to embrace them and let
them flow through me, and I feel free ... a part of them.  

So, for me, it is these parts of the natural world, or nature, 
that have made my winter miles a "wilderness" experience of
sorts, certainly within.  The darkness, the cold, the smell of
the winter air, the feel of it on my skin, the taste of it in my
mouth, the moon and stars leading my way; they all work in
concert and are so mighty and powerful, so beyond *me*; and it
is that very feeling of smallness that is ultimately so
liberating and precious to me.  Right in my own "backyard."  

Do I prefer those vastly more remote settings?  Absolutely.  And
that's a whole 'nuther story.  I'm just grateful for this lesson
that winter has taught me this year, because it has led me to a
different way of thinking, a different way of achieving a state
of being that I value more than I can express.  Is my
neighborhood a "wilderness"?  At first blush, of *course* not. 
But on any given early winter morning, I've learned to revel in
some the wonders that allow me to feel as though I am in the
midst of wildness.  Isn't that wild?!
Denise
(with apologies for the length!)    



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