[at-l] directional slang

[shane@theplacewithnoname.com (Shane Steinkamp)]

> Shane and Kelly, there you go again leaving us westerners out of the
> conversation.  Not only is it "down south" and "up north", it is also
> "back east" and "out west".

Phil,

I suppose you could add 'over yonder' to that.  Other directional ones are
'it's just down the road a-piece'.  This distance can be anywhere from two
blocks to thirty miles...

I once got directions that included, "Go down to the last stop sign."  I
wasn't sure which stop sign was the last one, and promptly was lost.

My favorite directions story happened when a friend and I went into a little
store in God-knows-where.  We were completely lost.  My friend asked the
girl behind the counter, "Do you have any maps?"  The girl got a very
confused look on her face and said, "Maps?...", like she had no idea what
one was.  My friend said, "Thanks.", and we headed back out into the night.
It was far less scary than the store.

There are also various stages of lost:

Off trail - You're not on the trail, but you know where it is.

Turned around - You think you know where you are, but you don't.

Confused - You thought you knew where you were, but now the map and the
territory don't match.

Lost - Don't know quite where you are.

Hopelessly lost - Don't know where you are, and not likely to find out soon.

Completely lost - Don't know where you are.  No map.  No compass.  Overcast
sky at night.

Doomed - "We're not just lost!  We're doomed!"  Nobody will ever find your
body.

Circle walker - Found the same spot twice when you weren't looking for it.

Accomplished circle walker - Found the same spot three times when you
weren't looking for it.

Shane