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[at-l] Re: fruitcake
----- Original Message -----
From: <Bluetrail@aol.com>
To: <at-l@backcountry.net>
Sent: Wednesday, February 06, 2002 5:21 PM
Subject: [at-l] Re: fruitcake
> Melted, totally melted in milk, marshmallows. Yes, graham cracker
crumbs. You're going to have to trust me on this one, my little fruitcake.
Think of it, fruitcake held together by two-thirds of the ingredients in
'smores. I LIKE sipping Wild Turkey; doesn't that prove something? (Are
you paying for the case or bourbon or am I?)
I don't know. This is not easy. That "trust me" thing is worriesome.
I've heard that before. If I recall correctly, at the time they said
"trust me" they were sippin' Wild Turkey too. I think everything would
have been fine if we hadn't run out of Wild Turkey. I'd have to have my
fruitcake and eat it too before there could be any kind of a wedding. I'm
afraid I'd have to insist on that. I'll need to have the evidence in my
mouth. You'll have to agree it's a strange recipe. This fruitcake is a
hard bargain here. It's the best offer I've gotten on this list. No one
has offered me anything as tangible as a fruitcake. The guys have all
offered me blank stares as if they haven't understood the question, like
deer in the headlights...the dears. Then they push their wives in front of
me and that's just too confusing, even for me. No one offered to come and
pick me up in Manhattan so I could get to the RUCK, even though I did get
picked up. No one said, "Hey, you can sleep with me," like they don't
trust me or something. Anyway, thank you for the fruitcake offer or was it
marriage? Oh, yeah, well I'll need to meditate on it a little...you know
if this sounds appealing...fruitcake? marriage? fruitcake? marriage? You
probably ought to mediate on marrying a fruitcake too. Don't rush into
something you'l regret latter over a fruitcake.
> No problem with sharing the gown. Since this won't be my first wedding,
do you think we'll both look good in pink? Ivory? Blue? Cream? You can
choose. Not any shade of purple; Gimme Chocolate is wearing purple.
Well, again this looks iffy. Depends on what you mean by "purple". I mean
I really had my heart set on a lavender gown, you know, being, you know,
THAT WAY and all, "Lavender Front" you know. So I'd need to have a more
refined description of "purple". What shade of purple? Pink is absolutely
out of the question. I'm a man. Jeeez! Ivory is nice, you know, a
little faded. And who said we BOTH get to wear a gown? What are you
trying to do compete with me? I'm wearing my hiking boots, I don't care
what you say.
> I assume a honeymoon spent backpacking. I'd prefer somewhere in the Wind
River Range.
Backpacking! On our honeymoon?! The only backpacking I want to do on my
honeymoon is....well, we can't get into that here. If for some reason we
did end up backpacking, say we couldn't think of anything else to do, you'd
have to carry everything. I don't want to break a nail. Of course, this
assumes there's going to be a wedding. I couldn't go on a honeymoon
without that, and a ring or course, and a fruitcake. I mean I might be a
gay pagan but I have my standards. I'm not just any old fornicating
fruitcake fulminator, you know, no matter how flagitious yet fectching I
would appear in a pair of Feragamo sunshades and a lavender wedding gown.
I'd prefer somewhere in the River.
> Humming "Going to the Chapel,"
No, sorry, no Chapel. We do it in the woods. I get to pick the music.
Felix officiates.
Datto, Ron, Weary, RnR, Jim, Rami can be the pallbears. I want Jan to give
me away and Gnatcatcher throws the first hand full of dirt. These are my
terms. No boring, cliched, flowers in my hair either, or yours for that
matter. We do moss or mushrooms or tree bark.
I'll send you my guest list, you send me yours. But first, the cake.
> Joan
> bluetrail@aol.com
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