[at-l] The Pips

[datto_atl@yahoo.com (Datto)]

Ahhh...Gladys Knight and the Pips.

Some of you may remember Lilly who was mentioned in my
AT trail journal -- the ravishing Yugoslavian girl I
had the romance with a long time ago. I'd picked her
up at her house one afternoon after getting my car
repaired from a collision with two telephone poles (a
different story). The flying box of Hamburger Helper
had cut my head during the collision and well, I
needed the sympathy and other pleasures only Lilly
could provide. 

We'd intended to visit River Oaks Shopping Mall that
afternoon. Lilly was in the passenger side of the
front seat, me driving The Red Baron, a 4200 pound red
behemoth that four years later would be the vehicle
surrounding the Datto Dear Story. But this afternoon I
was hearing a faint screeching sound as Lilly
continued to tell about all the possible shopping
excitement that lay ahead. Whew boy, more shopping.
Yeah, exciting.

The screeching got perceptibly louder as I drove along
Interstate 94 into Illinois until the sound violently
ended in one big thud. The wheel bearing from the
right front wheel had gone out and I was sandwiched in
the center lane between two semi-trucks. Lilly stopped
talking about the shopping excursion and, more from
the look of sheer terror on my face than from the thud
at the front of the car, asked if something was wrong.


Oh yeah, somethin' wrong baby. Hold on.

The exit ramp appeared out of nowhere when the car
slowed and the trucks finally zoomed past. Take it,
take it I said to myself and I wobbled down the ramp
to a complete final stop at a Shell Station positioned
conveniently at the bottom. I looked at Lilly and just
in case she hadn't deduced the situation yet, I said,
"We're having a car problem." Not "I'm having a car
problem" mind you. "We" are having the problem. That
was to be more true than I knew at the time.

Nothing like having car problems on the south side of
Chicago. Bad Bad Leroy Brown. Operative word: Bad.

Nothing else to do but walk over to the nearby pay
phone bolted to the side of the Shell Station (where
the wall was peppered with machine gun bullet divots
in the brickwork -- Sonny must have been making a last
minute phone call).  I telephoned my buddies from high
school -- they'd started a wrecker service in this
area named, "The Happy Hooker". Funny guys those
buddies of mine. I guess all those shop classes paid
off for 'em. 

After the usual formalities of "Hey how have you been?
Haven't seen you around town?", they indicated they'd
be over to pick me up in about forty-five minutes,
noting I'd be able to avoid the "Bad Area" premium
they'd normally charge for having to come into the
south side of Chicago. Us bein' high school buddies
and all.  It pays to have connections. Well that and
the answers to the shop class tests. 

Whew, looks like the day is going to be okay. Sure
could have been worse if'n that wheel bearing wouldn't
have held up to get to the bottom of this here ramp.
And that wheel on the right side...bent all funny at
an angle. "We're" not going anywhere right now that's
for sure.

Trouble. Bad Bad Leroy Brown.

Four undereducated guys from some kind of
disadvantaged minority group were standing over with
Lilly while she was leaning against the fender of The
Red Baron. Yes, she could attract them from way up
past Cabrinni Green if she wanted to. And with the way
she looked today, hmm, hmm, hmm. That long black hair
flowing in the wind, that short dress and...

I came up from behind and at a distance I heard, "You
just wait 'till my boyfriend gets over here..."

Uh-oh. Definitely Trouble. Definitely Bad Bad.

Lilly could become upset at times and get a little
mouthy toward people she didn't like. Oooh, now she's
pointing her finger at them. I think it'd be the
better part of valor to just head back over to the pay
phone and see if'n my buddies could arrive a little
faster. Maybe be bringing out some of that hardware I
knew they had with them too.

Well it turns out Lilly chased these four guys away.
She told me they were thinking of parting out The Red
Baron and she wasn't going to have any part of letting
that happen. How would we ever get to River Oaks?
Ahh...Lilly, sorry to have to tell you this but River
Oaks will have to wait for another day.

"We" did get The Red Baron fixed up and shortly
thereafter "I" paid what was considered at the time to
be a staggering body shop and mechanical repair bill
(not to mention the discounted wrecker bill from The
Happy Hooker). Lilly had friends who worked at the
Holiday Star Theater who could get Lilly and I free
tickets to any current show playing there. The first
night after I got The Red Baron back in service Lilly
got free tickets to a concert where Gladys Knight and
the Pips were playing. 

Real nice show -- third row center too. Leavin'
(Leavin') on that midnight train to Georgia...

Just about the same seats where those brassieres had
flown end-over-end onto the stage when we'd had the
free tickets to the Engelbert Humperdink show. The key
word here was 'free' tickets although I don't think
I'll ever get to see so many middle-aged women
whipping off their lingerie and winging it up on a
stage. 

Wait...there was that time with the mud wrestlers down
at The Scorpion...

Datto


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