[at-l] Re: (at-l) Leeches??? (and Roaches)

[KellyGoVols@aol.com (KellyGoVols@aol.com)]

Alright, here it is, the last of the last of the last of my obsession with=20
those nasty Palmetto's.  And it ain't trail related so delete at will.

And for those of you that are unfamiliar with the size of these things they=20
are so big that, when they back up, they are required by Florida law to emit=
=20
warning beeps. =20
 =20
palmetto bugs Palmetto bugs,=20
huge ugly things Skulkin' 'round like tiny thugs
Got some the size of area rugs
I'm talkin' 'bout palmetto bugs.

On spiky legs they climb my walls
Listening out for my footfalls
Antennas wave long-distance calls
To kinfolk rustling down the hall.

Palmetto bugs, palmetto bugs
Cleaning wings and looking smug
Makin' love in coffee mugs
I'm livin' with palmetto bugs

Brown eggs and turds in every drawer
I don't think I can take no more
They laugh and scuttle 'cross my floor
I'm buying Raid, declarin' war.

Palmetto bugs, palmetto bugs
Crawl up my neck and give me hugs
My neighbors say I'm doing drugs
But it's just them palmetto bugs.=20

And here is a funny story, author unknown:

Cockroach related bugs thrive in this part of Florida, especially waterbugs,=
=20
which is Southern for Really Enormous Cockroach. I've seen some so large tha=
t=20
you could fill them water and ride them across the Sahara. I can't stand the=
m=20
or their airborne cousins, Palmetto bugs. And Palmetto bugs are a bug-hating=
=20
woman's worst nightmare: huge cockroaches with wings. Fortunately, I am=20
married to a man who dislikes cockroaches as much as I do and doesn't mind=20
spending many leisure hours with a gallon-sized container of bug spray=20
washing down every nook and cranny a bug could use to enter this house. He=20
wages serious war against bugs of all size, especially in the summer, when=20
our deck appears to be crawling with the things. They're inside, too. No=20
matter how much he sprays, how hard I clean, waterbugs the size of a=20
battleship still appear as if by magic, especially if we have company.  Take=
,=20
for example, the night a friend came to visit. He'd never been to our home=20
before and we invited him into the den, seated him in my husband's favorite=20
recliner and started chatting. Suddenly the paneling behind my husband began=
=20
to move. I sat mesmerized as the biggest waterbug I've ever seen started=20
crawling up the wall behind our visitor's head. My husband saw it, too.=20
Together, the two of us watched Bugzilla make its way up the wall at the=20
speed of about a mile a decade. Our friend talked and laughed and told jokes=
=20
and we laughed and nodded and sat transfixed, watching that bug sashay up th=
e=20
wall. All I could think was, "Hmmm. I wonder what Martha Stewart would do in=
=20
a situation like this?" Would Martha pull off her shoe and throw it at the=20
bug (possibly hitting the unsuspecting guest?) or would she grab a rolled up=
=20
newspaper and just pound the stuffing out of it? Would she politely tell our=
=20
guest, "Excuse me, but an enormous and very nasty bug is getting ready to=20
drop on your head" or would she just let out a Sheena, Queen of the Jungle=20
yell, leap on it and stomp it into oblivion? I finally decided Martha would=20
decorate the bug and use it as a centerpiece at dinner, but that wasn't an=20
option for me. The bug was close to the ceiling and, if he kept going the wa=
y=20
he was, he would probably end up falling from the ceiling and into our=20
guest's lap.So I looked at my husband and said, "Gee, darling, So-and-So has=
=20
never seen the upstairs. Why don't you take him?" Upon which my husband=20
jumped up, grabbed our startled friend by the arm, ushered him upstairs and=20
took him on a quick trip of the bedrooms and bathrooms =E2=80=93 which were=20=
in=20
disarray. I'm sure the man thought it was all quite bizarre. But not half as=
=20
bizarre as having a cockroach the size of a water buffalo materialize on the=
=20
top of your head.  =20
   =20
And just for sh**'s and giggles, I looked up the facts on these creatures,=20
and here are some (It came from someones personal website, so I don't know i=
f=20
it's credible.)

PALMETTO BUGS. This is the largest of the cockroach species and it prefers=20
the "seafaring" life where sailors often wore gloves to keep the cockroaches=
=20
from chewing on their fingernails. They have flight capabilities and are in=20
warm, wet portions of the U.S. where they are found both inside and outside=20
(during the summer months) of structures. Unlike the German cockroach, this=20
species drops its egg capsule in moist areas near food.

Appearance: The American cockroach is reddish- to dark-brown in color and=20
grows to 1-3 inches or more in length. It also has a faint yellow border=20
surrounding the plate (pronotum) which covers its head. Both the male and th=
e=20
female have functional wings. Babies (nymphs) are wingless and grayish-brown=
=20
in color.

Habitat: The American cockroach, whether found inside or out, is associated=20
with warm and moist areas. In many large commercial structures they are ofte=
n=20
found in steam tunnels or basements where the humidity is high. They might b=
e=20
found around bathtubs, clothes hampers, or drains in the average home.=20
Outside they are often associated with areas where damp wood or leaf piles=20
are found. =20

   =20








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