[at-l] Christmas nastiness

[baltimorejack@hotmail.com (Jack Tarlin)]

    Gee, just when I thought a bit of civility had arrived for Christmas, I 
find a delightful bit of spite from my old pal Jim Owen, who must have run 
outta Metamucil or something.

    In whining about list posts he found objectionable (which basically 
encompasses anything he disgarees with) the ever-contentious Mr. Owen said 
the following:

    "And then there were more recent manifestations of self-generated, 
alternate ego, issue-oriented abusive posts, weren't there?  And not just on 
atml.  Remember BJ?  It's not an uncommon practice among the unscrupulous."

    Gee, whiz, Jim, assuming the "BJ" in question refers to me, I have only 
this to offer:  As far as abusive and unscrupulous posts are concerned, 
never mind downright rude ones, the only recent ones that stand out in 
memory happen to be yours.  And if memory further serves, you have an 
unfortunate habit of making casual nasty cracks about other people, assuming 
they won't be noticed.  A few weeks ago, you referred to my mis-quoting you 
somehow, but then when I immediately asked for clarification or proof of 
what I'd done to get your knickers in such a twist, you never bothered to 
respond.

    Here's a suggestion, that I don't for a minute think you'll take me up 
on, but if you do, it'll really improve the civility level of this list:  If 
you have an objection to something someone has said, then make your 
objection plain.  If you feel someone has mis-spoken, or said things that 
were un-true, or mis-quoted you, then make these objections plain.  And do 
it right away---you have a habit of harping over stuff that happened, or 
allegedly happened months ago; instead of festering over these imagined 
slights for months, you should really get em off your chest right away.  In 
any case, tho, the casual wisecracks and insults are growing wearisome, and 
are singularly inappropriate behavior both for a man of your years, and for 
one who seems to think he occupies a position of such significance in our 
community.

    In short, Jim, your childish tone, and insulting posts are really 
getting kinda old; you're no longer coming across as a wise old, 
curmudgeonly-but-well-meaning uncle.  Instead, you come across as a 
mean-spirited, relentlessly grumbling bully.

    It's Christmas, Jim. Lighten up a bit, and take some of your own advice. 
  Walk, and even more importantly, TALK a bit more softly.

    And to everyone else on this list, including my many friends, I regret 
that personal animosities and petty grievances have been aired here---I'd 
thought of contacting Mr. Owen privately, but then I fugured, what the hell. 
  The bile that collects in Jim's throat wherever my name comes up has a way 
of leaking out onto this forum all too often, and frankly, I'm really sick 
and tired of it.  His bullying and condescending tone has been allowed to 
dominate this list for all too long, without anyone willing to publicly 
object.   Here's the news, Jim:  This isn't your list, and merely because 
you've been on it a very long time, or make very frequent contributions DOES 
NOT grant you the right to speak and behave in an inappropriate and all too 
often, uncivil manner. If you've a problem with what people say, then find a 
way to air your complaints and differences in a civil, rational, and most of 
all, ADULT tone.  It'd really make this list a helluva lot more pleasant if 
people at least TRIED to make an effort to be a bit more polite.  I realize 
we're not all capable of this, but for heaven's sake, it's Christmas.  How 
about for the New Year we all resolve to spit out some of the bile and drink 
more egg nog or something.

                                Happy Holidays to All, and hopefully,
                                    a more amicable New Year as well.

                                           (Baltimore) Jack Tarlin
                                                 Hanover, NH

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