[at-l] Searching for the Divine

[spiriteagle99@hotmail.com (Jim and/or Ginny Owen)]

I don't know if I have the words to talk about this - it is a subject that 
is deep in my heart, too deep for words most of the time.  Thinking about it 
brings so many memories - so many moments of utterly sublime joy, certainty, 
gratitude, peace . . . usually while I was on a mountain or in the woods or 
wandering the deserts.

I only rarely feel the presence of God when I am with people - occasionally 
at a Taize service, in the weaving of music and prayer, or at times when 
people are sharing strong emotions and I can see the presence of God working 
among them -- but in the beauty of the mountains, I have often known myself 
to be in the presence of God.

I have stood atop the mountain, shouting YEA to the universe.  I have walked 
down the trail with tears running down my face because I was so grateful 
that I was there, right then.  I have sat silently, reflecting on the 
concept, "Be still and know that I am God" and known it for Truth.

On a lighter note (if you haven't tuned out already) when I did my first 
thruhike, I was asked once if I prayed.  The next day I went over Kinsman, 
in utter terror at the rock climbing with my very huge and heavy pack 
pulling me backwards and keeping me off balance.  As I climbed, I whispered, 
"Please, please, please."  And when I reached the top, "Oh, Thank you, thank 
you."  And I thought of the question the day before.

Yes, I pray.  Mostly it is to say thank you, but occasionally it comes down 
to, "I'm not sure I can make it on my own, can you help?"  And always the 
answer is Yes.  I have been very blessed in my life, in a lot of ways.  I 
know this, and I remember it daily.  I also know that it isn't because I 
deserve it, but just because God is good.

I chose my trail name, Spirit Walker, because I knew that I wanted my hiking 
to be more than fresh air and exercise, or an exercise in logistics.  The 
name reminds me of what I am out there for -- though I don't often come 
close to living up to it.  Some days, fresh air and exercise are good 
enough.  But the moments - satori moments - do happen.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Ginny

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