Re[2]: [at-l] at a loss but answering

[hopefl@juno.com (Lamar Powell)]

On Mon, 30 Jul 2001 09:11:56 -0400 Bob Cummings <ellen@clinic.net>
writes:
> snip............
> She fell in with me because she was nervous about hiking alone and 
> sensed I was safe. I wasn't
> sure whether that was a compliment or not.
> 
> Weary

Normally I tend to stay in lurker mode but I would like to comment on
this statement. In today's world, I think this was a huge compliment in
deep. Since I've been on the List I've sent posts to lots of folks,
usually privately. Some of these were women who wrote back and said they
felt like I was a safe person. To my mind, there isn't much higher
compliment than that in light of the horror stories about cyber stalkers
and sexual predators on the web.

Because the social part of hiking, camp life, so to speak, is one of the
things I enjoy most, I try to be very sensitive to the feelings of
others, especially lone women. For what it's worth, I've found that
certain "postures" seem to ease initial tensions. When meeting a lone
female hiker, I keep a certain distant from her, maybe six feet. I'm
within conversation distance but I'm not invading her space. I will put
down my pack and sit or I'll take the down hill side. I try to working
into the early part of conversation how supportive my wife is of my
hiking habit and how much I appreciate her. I talk about my family. I'll
usually ask for a trail name but nothing else. 

At shelters, I'll announce that I'm going outside to change clothes or,
if it's raining, ask if they mind my changing under my sleeping bag. I'll
take the far end of the shelter for my spot if there are just the two of
us. I'll end up by saying that what we do has an effect on other. I'm in
now way suggesting that we are responsible for all their actions. People
make choices and it is never right to choose to do wrong or harm or evil.
None the less, we do influence others. I try to make any chance meeting a
good experience. Weary, if somebody stays around you then you must be
doing a lot more right than wrong. I tip my hat to you because you may
well have made someone's hike a wonderful experience instead of something
fearful. Hopeful
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