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[at-l] Dangerous Doctors?

At 04:23 PM 6/23/01 -0400, David wrote:
>Oh do tell, do tell!
>What makes the week so interesting?
>The inquiries about gun ownership,

given OB's reference to suicide and depression re: pain....it may be

>the MIB showing up at your door to verify your responses, or the exquisite 
>experience itself?

Well this was done some six years or so ago, maybe more.
Perhaps the procedure has been ......refined......or maybe I
had a perverse pod doc......

I was tagging along with Hub as he had his plantar tended and
the doc noticed my curly nails thru the sandals.

"They give you much trouble?" he asked innocently.
Embarrassed, but too terribly so since, in fact, they had just
grown back after the most recent bout with Black Nail and
they looked about as good as they would.

I thought about blowing him off with a Naaaa....they're OK,
but something in my mind clicked...podiatrist....feet....consult
without waiting six months for a referral or copay...

I spilled my guts...
He nodded knowingly and was one of the few docs to not look at
me with disbelief when I claimed hiker status.  Little did I know...
the man was a maniac....a sadist....who lived to cause pain.

I should have recognized the type....I do tattoos after all,
but the thought that my toe pain could be removed (he never used
the words pulled, yanked, ripped, torn, wrenched.... just_remooooved)  and I'd
walk pain free....sounded too good to pass up.

I asked the one question I always hate having asked of me about
a tattoo.  "Will it hurt?" I got his version of the same speech I have
made a thousand times.

"Pain is_such_a_relative_experience............yadayadayada"
  but he ended with a nice touch..
"But I have never had a patient come back and tell me they regretted having 
it done."
I made the appt.

As instructed, I dutifully soaked my tootsies prior to the
extraction (suddenly....it's an EXTRACTION).  But they had
plenty of time to get hard again as I sat in the waiting room.

I actually heard someone screaming.....I kid you not.  Not just a
yelp, but a looooong full throated basso scream .....the kind
someone would make if they were having their liver ripped out thru
their navel.  I had second third and fourth thoughts.  But I'm no wuss..
afterall I have tattoos.  And we were talking about maybe 10-15 mins
of agony per toe...compared to a life free of nail pain.  No more
cutting toe-holes in my shoes.  I stayed.

I never saw the screamer leave the office.  He was probably left to
compose himself as I was ushered into another cubicle.  Now
we have my fear of little windowless rooms kicking in and by the
time the Pod Doc comes in, I'm already shaky.  He was a dead
ringer for the guy from Saturday nite live that used to do the
  "yeeeaaaah...that''s the ticket" schick.

I explain why the door has to be kept open.  I promise to try and
be more quiet than his last patient, hoping for an explanation
for the screaming.  I got none.....he just smiled and said "that
would be nice".

The nurse brings a tray, I assume containing the TOOLS.
They are covered...I can't even get a peek.  He whips out
the needle with the anaesthetic....it's a biggie....I'm sorta
glad it's a biggie.....I wish I still did drugs....I want really
really strong drugs.

"Now this may sting a little" as he pumps a pint of
stingee stuff into assorted spots on my toe.  I'm still firm...
thinking of green trails without the ouch with every step.
He reclines the chair.
He leans into my face with a most concerned look on his face...
"I have to be honest with you...you probably shouldn't
watch this"
Now, I'm the nosey type when it comes to people cutting on
me and I_am_gonna_watch.

Yikes....this is getting long...I'll do a part 2