[at-l] section hiker reveals government conspiracy!!

[ddgould@mindspring.com (Dan Gould)]

In an exclusive interview with World Tribune Enquirer reporter Ben Fullavit
yesterday, section hiker Big Blue Frog revealed a massive government
experiment and conspiracy involving AT hikers in southwest Virginia.

"I had to come forth with this story.  Nobody else seems to be willing,"
reported Big Blue Frog.  "I started out at Troutville, VA and hiked an easy
10 or 12 miles to Lambert's Meadow Shelter.  The next day was when it all
began...  I know I started in Virginia, but all of a sudden, there I was
back in Pennsylvania.  I immediately recognized those sharp, pointy,
ankle-twisting, knee-stressing little rocks and the boulder fields where you
have to jump from rock to rock!  That's pure Pennsylvania.  It must be some
kind of time/space warp technology experiment, and they're using us hikers
as guinea pigs!"

When asked about how he could account for the presence of such spectacular
Virginia landmarks as Tinker Cliffs, McAfee Knob, and Dragon's Tooth in
"Pennsylvania", Big Blue Frog replied, "I think this just demonstrates that
they haven't yet perfected the time/space warp technology...those WERE some
spectacular sights, and I was fortunate to have clear weather when I crossed
them.  But even between them, there were warps back to the rocks of
Pennsylvania.  I know Pennsylvania rocks when I see them!"

As further proof of the time/space warp technology, Big Blue Frog cited the
sudden return of winter just south of Pearisburg.  "I started the trip in
spring showers and then had two days of summer sun and heat.  It was an
incredibly gorgeous day coming over Peter's Mountain -- I was so pumped up I
did a 24-mile day, my longest ever.  But the next morning, as I was
approaching Pearisburg, winter returned.  It was like a blizzard by the time
I reached Highway 460!  The wind was howling and the snow was flying
sideways.  Despite the apparent return of winter, after resupplying I
decided to go on anyway, and that night at Doc's Knob shelter the time warp
continued.  It snowed and blowed and according to some locals near Dismal
Creek the next day, was 10 degrees during the night.  I think the government
went too far with that one -- they can't control this time/space warp thing,
and it nearly froze us to death!  The only thing that saved me was a tip
from an AT-L lister.  I filled my water bottle with hot water and put it in
the bottom of my sleeping bag.  My feet sure were grateful for that!
Fortunately the next day they let spring return.  Even though there were
still some drifts of snow that were 6 or 8 inches deep on the ridgetops, I
was able to finish my trip during the same season I started.  It was a warm
sunny spring day when I got off the trail near Bland, Virginia.  I just
can't understand how the government can get away with this.  Somebody should
do something about it!"

Reporter Fullavit requests that any other AT hikers who experience
time/space warps on the trail in southwest Virginia contact him immediately.

[Editor's note:  Big Blue Frog's wife reports that too many high-mileage
days and Ramen noodles may have addled his brain, but that he is
convalescing nicely at home now.  She also reports that he has now completed
over 1250 miles of the AT from Bland, VA to the summit of Mt. Washington,
NH.]