[at-l] Find the author and give him my gratitude

[dfaddleton@mindspring.com (David)]

Whoever decided to create this note and forward it on should receive some=
 type of humanitarian award. It says it all!
Big companies don't do business via chain letters and there are no computer=
 programs that track how many times an e-mail is forwarded, let alone by=
 whom. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a=
 free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class action checks.
Proctor and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo is=
 not satanic.
MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the most=
 people.
The Gap is not giving away free clothes. You can relax; there is no need to=
 pass it on "just in case it's true." 
There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a=
 bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to=
 their cousin. If you are hell bent on believing the kidney theft stories,=
 see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm=
 http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm 
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests=
 for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their=
 stories." None have. That's "none" as in "zero." Not even your friend's=
 cousin. 
Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they=
 do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at:
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html 
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html
Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel=
 free to pass the recipe on.
If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to=
 particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this=
 information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?
There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever=
 forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm=
 that an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses.=
 Try:
http://www.norton.com or http://www.mcafee.com 
And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. And you cannot get a virus=
 from a flashing IM or email, you have to download it ya know, like, a=
 FILE!
There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes=
 headlights at another car driving at night without lights.
If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off the "HTML=
 encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough=
 to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser since you're=
 probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a=
 friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers=
 showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. (Think Cut=
 and Paste) It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">>>"s that begin=
 each line either. Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've=
 probably already seen it.
Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying of=
 cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop=
 sending him their business cards. He apparently is no longer a "little=
 boy" either.
The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work, but=
 they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in response to the=
 large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation. It=
 is distracting them from the important work they do. Also, the American=
 Cancer Society does not give 3 cents for each person you forward e-mail=
 to. They ask for you to donate money, they don't give it, as if they could=
 know how many e-mails you sent out.sheesh.
If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that=
 "promises" something bad will happen if you "don't," -then something bad=
 will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.
Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-mail won't=
 help their cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your local=
 legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty International or=
 the Red Cross.
As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to=
 anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the competition is=
 complaining about.
KFC really does use real Chickens with feathers and beaks and feet. No,=
 they really do. Why did they change their name? In this health conscious=
 world, what was KFC's name? Kentucky FRIED Chicken. FRIED is not healthy.=
 So with the help of a focus group, they changed the name to KFC. It's=
 short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to remember.
Another thing, just because someone said in a message, four generations=
 back, that "we checked it out and it's legit," does not actually make it=
 true. PS: There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow long=
 distance companies to charge you for using the Internet. Bottom Line.=
 composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy as writing on=
 the walls of a public rest room. Don't automatically believe it until it's=
 proven false.ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that it's true.=
 Bookmark the following links to help discern truth or hoax:
http://www.truthorfiction.com
http://www.truthorfiction.com
http://vil.nai.com/VIL/hoaxes.asp
http://vil.nai.com/VIL/hoaxes.asp
Now forward this to everyone you know or the program I just put on your=
 hard drive while you read this E-mail will open up your CD-ROM and reach=
 out and slap you upside the head!!!
David Addleton
http://dfaddleton.50megs.com
vocate atque nonvocate deus aderit



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