Re: [at-l] new gear ideas

[Felix <AThiker@smithville.net>]

"Richard S. Lubitz" wrote:

> I can just see the flames (pun intended) resulting from the arguments as
> to whether "jet blazing" constitutes a proper thru.  We will have to add
> this to our list of politically incorrect subjects along with umbrellas,
> cell phones and guns.
> Rich

This reminds me of something...and here it is...



Subject:         Two jets and a blow up doll
   Date:         Sat, 18 Apr 1998 09:07:06 -0700
   From:         Felix <AThiker@smithville.net>


Well, okay then:

A jet leaves Katahdin at 8:00 a.m. A jet leaves Springer at some other
time. They are flying toward each other. The genderfree captain of K jet
has a jetside romance with a genderfree attendant at the side of the
plane. Afterward, the capt. smokes secondhand smoke. The captain of S jet
makes a cell phone call to make sure that the shuttle will be at the next
road crossing, 'cause, of course, this is a 'slightflight' (akin to a
slackpack). As the capt of K jet is returning to his/her command chair,
they decide to imbibe in some beer. MMMMMMmmmm, beer. Anyway, as the
second frosty Duff goes down, the conversation turns to the flames coming
out of the number two engine. The number two engine was manufactured by
MSR. It was either on or off. The number one engine was produced by the
fine folks at Coleman, in Kansas. It was simmering away. The
number three jet was a Szzzip. J. Fred was shoveling wood in
like a mad man. Meantime, back in Florida (the Georgia jet got lost) the
capt couldn't see very well cause the sun was in his/her eyes. Solution?
Open an umbrella. Wind blows the damn thing right out the window. (Two
sidebars: It blew the cloth part up, the wrong direction, first. I love
that. Second, always have the windshield on your jets closed when in
flight)  When S jet's crew figured out they were lost, they knew they had
to fly some Mail Macro Miles (just like the USPS) to get back on track.
The K jet capt realized that the difference in flames produced by
the engines had caused them to fly in circles. Well, more like ovals, to
be geometrically correct. Time for a little air magic. The guy in
Thermarest chair A, Row 4, climbs out on the wing with his Leatherman
and adjusts the coleman to run the same as the MSR, without all the soot.
The captain wondered out loud why they don't have a control for that in
the non-gender-specific cockpit %-) The S jet crew had their section maps
laying (lying?) on the floor, trying to figure out where would be the
closes place to getback in the trail, as a yellow jet-trail blaze was now
imminent. Just as the big finger was getting ready to point to the best
spot, a big dog comes charging up the aisle, hitting the arm of the
person holding the Skin So Soft, spilling the fluid on the map. A boy
scout happens along with a piece of Tyvek, absorbing the rank solution.
Meantime, back on the K jet, "Contol Tower? This is "Titanium Two". We're
 lost. Repeat: Lost"  "This is control. What is your destination?"
"Felix? Is that you?"  "Affirmative"  "Can't we fly someplace without
having a control tower with Felix in it?"  "Negative" So, back at the
ranch, Hoss was loading a wagon with some chicken gizzards.

--
Felix J. McGillicuddy
ME-->GA '98
"Your Move"
http://Felixhikes.tripod.com/




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