Re: [at-l] Question for Thrus.was. Katahdin is Closed

[KLandau364@aol.com]

In a message dated 10/12/2000 8:09:08 AM Central Daylight Time, 
kahley7@ptd.net writes:

<< Can anyone share how they'd react in their position? >>

I was in EXACTLY their position a year ago.  A year ago tomorrow, I was 
closing in on the end of my thru-hike.  Spent the night of the 12th camping 
by Rainbow Lake with Mohawk.  Got up early...hoping to make it at least to 
Daicey Pond and to summit the next day.  Made good time -- got to Abol Bridge 
around noon; Daicey Pond by 4; and Katahdin Stream Campground before 6.  It 
was a great hiking day -- cool and overcast; but dry.  The 18 miles just flew 
by -- partly due, no doubt, to the adrenaline that the very clear presence of 
Katahdin generated.

The bad news was that Katahdin had been closed for the past couple of days, 
due to some snow and ice in the past few days, and continuing cold up high 
that prevented melting.  And the next day was worse -- pouring rain 
(eventually turning to snow) down below; blizzard conditions on the mountain 
all day.  The Trail was closed, with no hope that it would open for at least 
a couple of days...and more snow forecasted for the weekend.  Looked like 
Katahdin might be done for the year.  So was my thru-hike.

Had I known in advance that my thru would end this way, I think I'd have been 
enormously discouraged.  While I enjoyed every minute of the trip, Katahdin 
really was a worthy, even mystical, specter of a climax to the previous six 
months' effort.  Every time I thought about summiting, and particularly as I 
got close in the last few days and could see the great mountain, I got choked 
up.  The idea of NOT finishing on Baxter Peak was unthinkable.

But, when it happened that I couldn't finish, I was surprised at my reaction. 
 Yes, I was disappointed -- VERY disappointed.  But I was NOT devastated.  I 
still felt, to my core, that I had thru-hiked.  I mean, I HAD walked 2155 
miles.  And I felt very fulfilled by the experience.  It was everything I had 
anticipated...and a whole lot more.  Even today, I'm not sure I fully 
comprehend the enormous impact it has had upon me.  I certainly think about 
it every day; how wonderful it was; how transforming it was; how very, very 
satisfying and fulfilling it was.

Was it less satisfying and fulfilling because I couldn't summit as planned?  
Only marginally so.  And, in a strange way, it had some positive aspects to 
it.  It gave me something to look forward to -- "I WILL come back and climb 
this mountain some day," I declared.  And I did...this past summer.  And, by 
allowing me to have that as an unfulfilled goal, it somehow extended that 
wonderful trip for another 10 months.  The quest -- one that I had determined 
to pursue almost 30 years earlier -- was still there.  It wasn't over yet.  
How fun to have a great climb to still look forward to.

One of the things that had concerned me as I had made my way through Maine, 
was how I'd react to my hike being over.  As I got closer to Katahdin, it 
struck me that the hike would end extremely suddenly.  That thought was 
somewhat eerie...even disconcerting.  While I was VERY tired, and wanted to 
go home, at the same time a huge part of me did not want the journey to end 
-- and certainly not as abruptly as it does for most thru-hikers.  In a 
strange way, then, while my trip was aborted, it did not END...not then, 
anyway.  And, so, it did not end abruptly.  I still had a destination to 
reach.

But, more important, as Kahley said, ultimately it WAS the trip and NOT the 
destination that really mattered.  Yes, on the one hand, it was Katahdin that 
had eluded me.  But, on the other hand, it was only 5 miles out of 2160.  
And, through my initial disappointment, that realization was there.

Still, I do hope the hikers who are stranded up there tonight...so close to 
the end of their thru...get lucky and can summit.  But, if they don't, I do 
hope their worlds are not shattered.

Sorry for the long-winded response.  But you asked :)

-- Walkabout GAME'99
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