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[at-l] Gnats was Trip Report, Thornton Gap to (ulp!) Skyland
- Subject: [at-l] Gnats was Trip Report, Thornton Gap to (ulp!) Skyland
- From: "Coosa" <coosa@fox21.net>
- Date: Tue, 13 Jun 2000 23:45:50 -0400
>> Just stick a bounce behind you on your pack, it will REDUCE the gnats,
but
>> not totally eliminate them. Of course SNEEZING them away is an option,
too.
>
>How does it do that? They're already so small...
>
>Ah, Technology.... :-)
>--
> -Tom Williams
Well, you see there is a special formulated gnat-control chemical in the
Bounce sheet. It's top secret so you are the first to know. It reduces the
gnats by reducing their numbers. The smaller the numbers, the smaller the
gnats. Due to inbreeding. The gnats don't want to be reduced, so they
stay away from the person with the Bounce sheet attached to his or her pack.
(That and the other gnats make fun of them for hanging around such a strange
looking person who hangs a Bounce sheet on his pack or under his hat, etc.)
Sneezing is the second option, of course. When you inhale on the "ah"
section of the sneeze you pull a few gnats into your nasal orafices. The
gnat wings get covered with -- well, for want of a better word, 'buggers' --
this causes them to be weighed down on the "choo" section of the sneeze and
just like a bowling ball, the gnats shoot out and knock over the other gnats
in direct line of the sneeze as they roll by. And you didn't know, but the
gnats keep score just like in bowling. The higher you score, the fewer
gnats want to be around you. So less gnats.
Okay? Coosa
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