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[at-l] trash talk
Not only have I just completed a thru-hike (GA-ME99), but I'm pretty
sure I'll thru-hike at least another eight, maybe ten times. Probably
more. In fact, I'm already pretty much becoming a legend in my own mind
(and I'd have to say deservedly so).
With so many thru-hikes either already under my belt, or at least soon
to be, I feel completely empowered to share some of my extensive present
and future trail wisdom and wilderness lore which I've picked up along
the way, or will sooner or later anyway. If any of you find this
valuable information somehow offensive, sorry in advance. Most of you
will probably never hike as much as I plan to, so how much can your
different opinion really count in comparison to mine anyhow?
Also, sorry to barge in like this all of a sudden. I'm a very busy
person and just haven't had time to mix with y'all informally as I've
lurked for a few days, but I do have some very important things to say
and it would be bad and unnecessary for you to have to wait.
First, anybody who doesn't use Lekis or some close facsimile is deluded
and probably won't make it to Katahdin, probably not even get out of
Virginia. Believe me I've seen this on the trail and I know what I'm
Second, most of you dolts carry weighhhh too much gear and all your
whining about dragging yourself up one peak just to go back down and
then have to haul yourself up another is just the pitiful consequence of
poor discernment in setting priorities correctly and probably not having
any sense at all.
Third, if you're going to carry technology on the trail, make sure you
get the maximum bang for your buck by wearing it on the outside of your
backpack so everyone can see how advanced your gear system really is.
Other hikers will probably be intimidated by your obvious affluence, and
speak enviously about you among themselves whenever you're not around.
Fourth, don't waste time taking photographs of every boring old
overlook. The snapshots you get back from the pharmacy will all look
pretty much alike, lots of haze mostly, and it's a waste of money as
well. Spare your friends back home.
Fifth, and finally for now, if you have a choice between drinking beer
and living it up in trail towns with the other slovenly bums you're out
goofing off with (instead of working and contributing to society) versus
getting your town chores done and getting to bed early so you'll be
ready for a fresh start on the trail of life the next day, well, I'm
sure anybody with any sense knows the right answer to this one, so let's
be good boys and girls and hike yer own hike! ;-)
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