Re: [at-l] Should I listen to the signs?!?

[bullard@northnet.org]

All my life I've had a little voice inside my head that said "do this" or "don't do that". Everytime I've ignored that voice I've regretted it. Don't ask us, ask yourself, and listen carefully to the answer.

Saunterer

At 11:49 AM 1/7/00 -0700, you wrote: 
>>>>
> Oh boy, oh boy!!
>   
> Since I made my desicion to thru-hike last June, you would not BELIEVE how many things are working against me for this hike!!
>   
> First I meet Josh, the love of my life, in July. (He is now my fiance) Of course, he does not want me to go, and I've struggled with leaving him behind when we have been together such a short amount of time.
>   
> Then I started having more migraine problems than ever before. From August-October I was hospitalized SEVEN times with them. No medicine that doctors have given me are working. The problem is not as severe now as it was back then, but if it gets that severe on the trail, I'm afraid of what might happen.
>   
> Then, from mid November until early-January I was having a pregnancy scare, and really thought that I wasn't going to have a choice about going or staying.
>   
> Then, in early December I was diagnosed with asthma, and I'm learning how to not let it affect my physical activities.
>   
> Now, as of this morning, I was offered an excellent promotion with my company. Instead of doing internet programming, which bores me to tears since I am such a people-person, they are offering me a position in sales.... selling the internet services and advertisements that I developed. It would include a raise in salary, plus commission. Nobody believes in these services like I do, since they have been my baby since conception, and I've always wanted a job in sales. But, it would not be fair to take the job and then leave in two months. So, I told them I would think about it over the weekend.
>   
> Isn't this all crazy?!?!?!? I'm not even remotely a religious person, but one might wonder if someone is giving me signs that I should stay at home.
>   
> But, playing devil's advocate, one could say that I am being tested to see how badly I really want to do this. And, maybe by going against all the odds, and leaving so much behind, it will make me more motivated than ever to finish what I set out to accomplish.
>   
> There have been good signs, too.... don't get me wrong. By meeting Josh I had a place to move all of my stuff... no storage charges to worry about. I am also going to be on his insurance policy, so that I don't have to worry about high COBRA payments. He is also helping me out immensely with financing a lot of this trip. I also know that he would happily support me when I come back from the trail, and am looking for a job.
>   
> The migraines HAVE ceased, and that could be seen as a positive sign.
>   
> I actually WASN'T pregnant, and that could be seen as a sign.
>   
> Leaving the job behind, no matter how badly I want it, will give me the option of "getting out of the rut" when I get home. I can go back to school, or I can get into a whole new industry if I so choose.... without feeling trapped with the contentment and security of having a good job. If they hired me back, then it was meant to be. If they don't, I was meant to be working elsewhere. 
>   
> It all so tough, and stressful. I guess I was just sorting all this out in my own mind, and decided to post it to the list. If anyone actually read my ramblings this far, then I'm impressed, and I thank you.   :)
>   
> Kristen
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